Dreams #28

Written 9/9/08

Here's what I got last night. The only clearly memorable dream was about venting frustrations. Yes, even I have those. The dream was about My frustration with My ex-wife and doing some payback and then All was fine. Kind of a surprise after All these years but I'm certain it was based on some car frustrations I was/am facing (My most common and recurring frustration) and what I was picking up from Z and M.
What kept coming through was this stuff I've been talking about lately of infinity not being All pretty. Most of Us are seeking/expecting to find heaven on earth type stuff. Well, where there is heaven there is also hell. When We are expecting heaven and pass through hell it tends to freak Us out.
It's about Our judgements and fears. There are many stories about this, Dune and Star Wars are My personal favorites. It dawned on Me last night that this might be the shred of truth behind the story of purgatory. There seems to be an initiation that All of Us (who are waking) go through. We must face Our fears, We must face OurSelves (All of Us). We rarely have any warning about this. Most of Us think We are going to go marching into heaven and get a bit freaked out when We find OurSelf blocking the path.
I think this is a big part of what M and Z and many others are going through when "they" exhibit some of these alarming characteristics. The other part of course is Our judgement of these behaviours (in OurSelves and others) We judge everything, it's normal but it hinders Us. We really need to see everything as perfect or neutral or some new word. Perfect implies that it should not change and We know that is an error. Everything changes. It is perfect for Our current moment, Our current spot on the path. Next breath it will All change, unless it doesn't.
All of this, Our fear and Our judgement is very fucking frustrating. We know this from experience. These Youngstars get a glimpse of glory and then go charging in. We know how difficult the path is when We take Our time and adjust gradually. Most EveryOne wants it All yesterday, and that tends to fry the circuits. Again tho, this is not a bad thing, it's just ugly/alarming to watch.
The thing We tend to forget is that infinity includes everything and Our thinking has got to change before We can accept and face and own that. I can not think of One thing that We don't judge as good or bad. That has got to change or We won't be able to handle infinity. Again, it feels like this is what many of these kids are facing, seeing what "they" have been taught is "BAD" in the place where "they" expected to find peace and well being.
That is the best I can describe My feelings for now.