These old beliefs are so damn deep seated, "they" are hard to uproot. And of course, duh, We need to integrate "them" rather than try to destroy "them" (note to Self)
I really, really feel very strongly that this is what today (these times) are about and most of Us had no idea this was/is what We signed up for.
Who woulda thot that this is what bringing heaven to earth would look like??????? Or that this is what We would go thru to do it????? We have opened a door that leads to something so different from what We expected.
Now is the time to hold onto Our ass, and that may be All We can do some days, and that just has to be enough.
This IS what We ARE doing
THIS IS WHAT WE ARE DOING (Picture found on Facebook, artist unknown)
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
THE BEGINNING OF NO
Dreams #70
The Beginning of No
Written 8/17/09Johnny walked/skipped along, happy to be on his way to start his first day of school for the year. (Obviously, this was a long time ago in a land far, far away.)
The sky was a brilliant, clear, bright blue but Johnny hardly noticed as this was completely normal. He talked with his friend George about “their” summer adventures and escapades. “They” laughed until “their” stomachs hurt. The people “they” passed smiled and waved, yet barely noticed the behavior because it was perfectly normal for two friends to carry on so when walking/skipping down the avenue.
As “they” approached the school Johnny noticed lots of teachers outside, All-most surrounding the school. “Oh wow” he said to George, “a welcoming committee. 'They' have never done that before. How thoughtful.”
When Johnny and George reached the nearest teacher Johnny had a big grin on his face. The teacher , however, wore no such decoration. “You must leave Your dragon outside the school grounds.”
“What????” Johnny was in total shock.
“Do as I say. I Am the authority and You are NOTHING.”
“But??????? And what's a nothing?”
“Everything will be explained in class. Now leave Your dragon over there and go inside. Dragons are only imaginary creatures anyway.”
“George is very real as You can clearly see.”
“I told You to do as I say. Dragons are imaginary and that is the way it is from now on.”
Sadly, Johnny told George to stay over by a group of trees, and that he would be back and explain as soon as possible. George's color seemed to fade just a bit and the sky seemed a little dark. Johnny wondered about this for a minute. This was All brand new.
Johnny watched as Susan approached the ring of teachers. “They” no longer looked like a welcoming committee. “They” were obviously guards. The teacher stopped Susan. “You will leave Your leprechaun over there. Leprechauns are imaginary and must be left outside the school grounds.”
“What?” Susan was immediately in tears.
“Do as I say. I Am the authority and You are NOTHING. And, wipe those silly tears off Your face.”
“But, what's a nothing?”
“Go inside, everything will be explained.”
The sky turned a little darker. This was the first time the sky had ever turned dark during the day.
Johnny walked up to Susan and told her that he had to leave George beyond the school grounds also. He explained that the other teacher had said that George was imaginary also. Susan knew that George was a dragon, and that George was real. EveryOne knew that, at least “they” did until now.
Another teacher walked towards Johnny and Susan, “Were You told to go inside?”
“Yes.”
“Do as You were told.”
As “they” walked towards the door of the school “they” heard yet another teacher say to Jerry and his sister Joan: “Leave Your faeries over there, off the school grounds. Faeries are imaginary creatures and must be left behind.”
“What?” Jerry and Joan yelped in unison.
“Do as I say. I Am the authority and You are NOTHING.”
“But, what's a nothing?” Jerry asked.
“Yes, and what's an authority?” Joan added.
“Go inside. Everything will be explained."
With sobs and tears Jerry and Joan told “their” Fae friends to wait over by George. The sky grew darker still.
Johnny and Susan walked inside the school. It was more like dragging “their” bodies through deep, thick mud rather than walking. Inside “they” found the other students in the same state of despair. When Jerry and Joan entered, “they” shared stories, shaking “their” heads in wonder.
A very loud bell rang and a voice (All-most an angry voice) came over the loud-speakers: “The bell signals it is time to start class. Proceed immediately to Your first class. Talking will be kept to a minimum. Silence is Your best choice.”
This was All so new to the children. Many wondered what planet “they” had woken up on. Before, the children knew when it was time to go to class. “They” went when it was time, everything was orderly and happy. The sky turned darker still. AnyOne who was watching George could clearly see that now it was more than just his color fading, George himSelf was fading as were All the other creatures that the teachers had named imaginary.
When class started, it was the same story in every class room. The teacher announced that the town council (in compliance with the world government rulings) had made some long needed changes. The parents and other adults would be notified immediately. The first and most important change was implementing the word NO. This word would apply mainly to the children and would have the greatest impact on “their” lives. As these children grew into adults, the word NO would be applied to adults as well. Within One generation, the word NO would apply to everyOne and basically rule the world.
Furthermore, All imaginary creatures would NOT be allowed on school grounds, in schools or anywhere near any public grounds, buildings, structures or gatherings. This would be the first implementation of the word NO. NO more imaginary creatures.
A partial list of imaginary creatures was passed out to All children (BTW, children were now to be referred to as Nothing or students) and copies were being sent by courier to All parents. Additions to the list would be made as soon as other imaginary creatures were “made up” by the students. Vampires, werewolves, dragons, faeries etc. were now mandated to be banished to closed closets and underneath the bed. Furthermore the students would learn to FEAR these creatures.
Special councils and committees were being set up around the world to write stories that would describe these creatures ("correctly" according to the authorities) as mean, evil and fearsome beings. Most of these words were brand new to the students. But, “they” were promised that shortly the meanings would be abundantly clear.
The sky was growing ever darker and some odd grumbling, growling sound echoed throughout the heavens. George and All the other imaginary creatures had faded to All-most Nothing. When school was out and the students went to find “their” imaginary creatures, “they” would truly begin to understand the word “nothing”.
Thoughts written 8/8/09
Sometimes, just writing/talking about it helps.
That was definitely the case yesterday. One thing I keep thinking about/keeps coming up when I Am at work (and looking at what I go thru) is the line from the "Matrix": "You have a problem with authority, Mr. Anderson."
Now, that is no newsflash. I even gloried in this in days gone bye. But, since I've started getting into shadow work, mirror work, Oneness, this takes on new perspectives. And it feels like One of those things where (at least at this time) action is NOT called for, but simply awareness (FULL awareness) is the key.
It's that old, old pattern of denial (that's not really Me, or that's not who I Am today) that glues these encounters to One like Superglue. Yes, it certainly is true, that in this current physical life that is not who I Am today. I Am not a Self-serving tyrant, I Am not greedy (at least in relative terms), I do NOT live in fear of My boss, BUT "out there" (in multi-d) this is still a part/piece/fragment/fraction of Me. And, it All-ways will be. So, nothing I do will change it, but I must choose to love it or reject it............................ aw shit.
I really feel that this is important for Me right now, since the examples are pervading My waking and My dreaming world.
I agree (and forget) that it is important to not be too hard on MySelf and to remember that these distances are really an illusion.
I'm feeling more active this weekend than I did last weekend. I can't tell yet if it's misty or smokey outside. I think it is mist (clouds) which is good for the fires. I do have stuff that I can do in rainy weather, I tried to gear this way since summer here All-ways includes days and days of rain. This summer has been unusually dry, but the fair started yesterday so We are just about guaranteed a week of rain.
That was definitely the case yesterday. One thing I keep thinking about/keeps coming up when I Am at work (and looking at what I go thru) is the line from the "Matrix": "You have a problem with authority, Mr. Anderson."
Now, that is no newsflash. I even gloried in this in days gone bye. But, since I've started getting into shadow work, mirror work, Oneness, this takes on new perspectives. And it feels like One of those things where (at least at this time) action is NOT called for, but simply awareness (FULL awareness) is the key.
It's that old, old pattern of denial (that's not really Me, or that's not who I Am today) that glues these encounters to One like Superglue. Yes, it certainly is true, that in this current physical life that is not who I Am today. I Am not a Self-serving tyrant, I Am not greedy (at least in relative terms), I do NOT live in fear of My boss, BUT "out there" (in multi-d) this is still a part/piece/fragment/fraction of Me. And, it All-ways will be. So, nothing I do will change it, but I must choose to love it or reject it............................ aw shit.
I really feel that this is important for Me right now, since the examples are pervading My waking and My dreaming world.
I agree (and forget) that it is important to not be too hard on MySelf and to remember that these distances are really an illusion.
I'm feeling more active this weekend than I did last weekend. I can't tell yet if it's misty or smokey outside. I think it is mist (clouds) which is good for the fires. I do have stuff that I can do in rainy weather, I tried to gear this way since summer here All-ways includes days and days of rain. This summer has been unusually dry, but the fair started yesterday so We are just about guaranteed a week of rain.
Dreams #69
Written 8/7/09
A little background, We went the whole month of July without any measurable rainfall and the forest fires, the smoke and the ash were quite awful.
Well We finally are getting some rain. Yesterday (the first rain) was actually worse than the day before (before it rained), You know how it is when You first throw a little water on a blazing fire (or hot charcoal). But it didn't affect Me like the day before. (insert: I was depressed the day before, it looked really weird outside. It really looked like the end of the world. I reminded MySelf that if the world was going to end, it wouldn't end just in Alaska.)
I had a nice evening and as I was drifting off it was about accepting and honoring the youngstars as "they" are. It was very pleasant.
HOWEVER, the only dream I remember left Me feeling quite horrid. It was about K and work. She had hidden items in each person's section which were obviously out of place but very well hidden. When she arrived she uncovered the items for Us to see. Mine was so obvious, it was like it had been cloaked with a spell???? So, she wrote each of Us up, felt like a threat to fire All of Us, for not finding Our hidden items. I told her that was a great way to inspire her team and show appreciation.
I truly felt horrible about My fear and anger reaction. One of the things I've been reading speaks of: "The opportunity to heal". That was obviously what this dream was about and I did go to work on that right away. I will never see those words: "Opportunity to heal" in quite the same way again.
It was the experiencing how deep these feelings (even hatred) go that bothered Me. It was that thing We speak of, how disheartening it can be to have done sooo much work and yet have soooo far to go.
At work yesterday I was noticing how everyOne is acting now that K is manager. My first reaction was: "It really isn't just Me." But, then I remembered something I read in Reconnections: We create the evidence to support Our position/belief. So, of course in My world All-most everyOne is having difficulty with K. How could I possibly be wrong?
Obviously, this gave Me lots of homework, but it was not fun.
A little background, We went the whole month of July without any measurable rainfall and the forest fires, the smoke and the ash were quite awful.
Well We finally are getting some rain. Yesterday (the first rain) was actually worse than the day before (before it rained), You know how it is when You first throw a little water on a blazing fire (or hot charcoal). But it didn't affect Me like the day before. (insert: I was depressed the day before, it looked really weird outside. It really looked like the end of the world. I reminded MySelf that if the world was going to end, it wouldn't end just in Alaska.)
I had a nice evening and as I was drifting off it was about accepting and honoring the youngstars as "they" are. It was very pleasant.
HOWEVER, the only dream I remember left Me feeling quite horrid. It was about K and work. She had hidden items in each person's section which were obviously out of place but very well hidden. When she arrived she uncovered the items for Us to see. Mine was so obvious, it was like it had been cloaked with a spell???? So, she wrote each of Us up, felt like a threat to fire All of Us, for not finding Our hidden items. I told her that was a great way to inspire her team and show appreciation.
I truly felt horrible about My fear and anger reaction. One of the things I've been reading speaks of: "The opportunity to heal". That was obviously what this dream was about and I did go to work on that right away. I will never see those words: "Opportunity to heal" in quite the same way again.
It was the experiencing how deep these feelings (even hatred) go that bothered Me. It was that thing We speak of, how disheartening it can be to have done sooo much work and yet have soooo far to go.
At work yesterday I was noticing how everyOne is acting now that K is manager. My first reaction was: "It really isn't just Me." But, then I remembered something I read in Reconnections: We create the evidence to support Our position/belief. So, of course in My world All-most everyOne is having difficulty with K. How could I possibly be wrong?
Obviously, this gave Me lots of homework, but it was not fun.
Dreams #68
Written 7/22/09
I haven't been remembering My dreams much lately but last night I was more focused on doing stuff "out there" as I was going to sleep. Had some cool feelings/images as I drifted off. A lot of Fae stuff, felt like I actually met some Fae creatures for the first time.
Then I woke from a dream that I was a spy in WW II. It was bizarre. I'm thinking passed life, but I have no idea what brought this on. It felt sooo real and so current. After that I had several alternate life dreams. All had a different feel than My normal ventures and explorations.
I haven't been remembering My dreams much lately but last night I was more focused on doing stuff "out there" as I was going to sleep. Had some cool feelings/images as I drifted off. A lot of Fae stuff, felt like I actually met some Fae creatures for the first time.
Then I woke from a dream that I was a spy in WW II. It was bizarre. I'm thinking passed life, but I have no idea what brought this on. It felt sooo real and so current. After that I had several alternate life dreams. All had a different feel than My normal ventures and explorations.
Thoughts written 7/18/09
I've read quite a bit about these current moon phases and eclipses. I just don't think that what I've read quite captured or conveyed the magnitude of this current cycle. It's probably One of those events that We have NO frame of reference for. I Am quite clueless as to how rare or common eclipses at the same time as new moons and full moons and One on the tail of another is, but I'm sure feeling something different.
I'm intuiting to take it very easy right now and the few I've talked/chated with seem to confirm this. It's not feeling like time to stop (do nothing) which is how I normally take it easy, but it is time to move slow, yet continue to move (at least for Me). This continues to be a new experience for Me. I know how to stop and I know how to run but I'm not good at strolling (in the physical realm). Guess that's not totally true, but in reference to projects and doing "things" it is very true.
Doing a little of this and a little of that. I had thought about doing some project stuff after work this week, but something said to hold. So I did. It is easiest (after years of training) for Me to follow My intuition when it says STOP. That was very hard at first. Now go slow is My learning curve.
Had thought I might get a lot done today, but something says to go slow. Like a time of tilling and watering the soil in preparation for planting.
Also, seems a time to apply Our spiritual stuff to the physical. It is easy to talk, but how are WE at practicing these principles in All Our affairs? Maybe I need an affair to practice in????
I don't feel the physical is going anywhere so I best learn how to live it to the fullest and most spiritual that I can. Lots of folks are waiting to "GO" somewhere, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting.
We are here because We chose to be. We have a purpose in the here and now. Even if it is only the experience. (ONLY the experience??????????????)
Some seem to have left, but as the Reconnections say: "Ever notice death is something that All-ways happens to someOne else?"
Maybe others are leaving, but for Me, I know there is much, much here I still choose to explore and experience. There was a time I would have deleted any email that talked like this. I would have tuned out anyOne speaking like this. I would have told most people to go away, deep into the bowels of the earth for talking like this. Yet, today here I Am.
I'm intuiting to take it very easy right now and the few I've talked/chated with seem to confirm this. It's not feeling like time to stop (do nothing) which is how I normally take it easy, but it is time to move slow, yet continue to move (at least for Me). This continues to be a new experience for Me. I know how to stop and I know how to run but I'm not good at strolling (in the physical realm). Guess that's not totally true, but in reference to projects and doing "things" it is very true.
Doing a little of this and a little of that. I had thought about doing some project stuff after work this week, but something said to hold. So I did. It is easiest (after years of training) for Me to follow My intuition when it says STOP. That was very hard at first. Now go slow is My learning curve.
Had thought I might get a lot done today, but something says to go slow. Like a time of tilling and watering the soil in preparation for planting.
Also, seems a time to apply Our spiritual stuff to the physical. It is easy to talk, but how are WE at practicing these principles in All Our affairs? Maybe I need an affair to practice in????
I don't feel the physical is going anywhere so I best learn how to live it to the fullest and most spiritual that I can. Lots of folks are waiting to "GO" somewhere, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting.
We are here because We chose to be. We have a purpose in the here and now. Even if it is only the experience. (ONLY the experience??????????????)
Some seem to have left, but as the Reconnections say: "Ever notice death is something that All-ways happens to someOne else?"
Maybe others are leaving, but for Me, I know there is much, much here I still choose to explore and experience. There was a time I would have deleted any email that talked like this. I would have tuned out anyOne speaking like this. I would have told most people to go away, deep into the bowels of the earth for talking like this. Yet, today here I Am.
Thoughts written 7/7/09
For Me it seems like sooo much is merging (balancing????)
I've All-ways known I could do/be both, be IN the world but not OF the world, yet, yet I feared that I would not or could not. After All, We have very few role models for this and especially very few current day role models.
Certainly that number is increasing, but people living in the extremes are sooo much more common than people living a balance between (whatever label We might put on it). I tend to go for "being in AND out".
I knew I could, but was I right???? Did I trust MySelf not to go too far out or too far in? Could I (would I) participate in 3D without selling out to 3D? Would I embrace multi-D without getting lost?
This has certainly been My desire (All-most said goal butt...........) Was this the unreachable dream? Was this the proverbial carrot before the donkey????? Am I the ass chasing the carrot?
It would seem/feel that this is becoming My reality. Slowly, gradually and I Am glad of that.
I've All-ways known I could do/be both, be IN the world but not OF the world, yet, yet I feared that I would not or could not. After All, We have very few role models for this and especially very few current day role models.
Certainly that number is increasing, but people living in the extremes are sooo much more common than people living a balance between (whatever label We might put on it). I tend to go for "being in AND out".
I knew I could, but was I right???? Did I trust MySelf not to go too far out or too far in? Could I (would I) participate in 3D without selling out to 3D? Would I embrace multi-D without getting lost?
This has certainly been My desire (All-most said goal butt...........) Was this the unreachable dream? Was this the proverbial carrot before the donkey????? Am I the ass chasing the carrot?
It would seem/feel that this is becoming My reality. Slowly, gradually and I Am glad of that.
Quickie 7/27/09
Well, I had a nice morning of waking dreams. Phase shifting, did a ghost type appearance to someOne and "they" took it well, All-most like "they" had called Me and were ready when I just kinda popped up beside "them". Quite cool.
Thoughts written 6/26/09
I was just reading an article that refers to departing. This author has been departing for a couple of years now. I feel I keep watching this cycle going round and round the mountain. This morning I felt strongly that this cycle is Our/My desire to depart yet stay manifesting in front of Me. Yet I want to slap "them" and say: "Wake up, don't You get it? The reason You keep feeling on the brink of departing is because You aren't going? We are staying and bringing in the new. We are bringing multi-D into Our lives."
That's what I feel for Me. We want to go, We want to stay. We want joy and We cling to misery. Why? Because We have the opportunity to embrace and integrate it All. Again this goes back to there being so much more available and waiting for Us that We really can't even fathom right now.
Many are speaking of not being able to put "their" now into words. Is it any wonder? Our now is brand new, there aren't words for much of what We are experiencing and no frame of reference. We are like the native Americans looking at Columbus's ships and not seeing anything. That is exactly what many of Us are walking in right NOW. We sense these ships, Our light bodies, Our energy but We can't see a blessed thing yet.
That's what I feel for Me. We want to go, We want to stay. We want joy and We cling to misery. Why? Because We have the opportunity to embrace and integrate it All. Again this goes back to there being so much more available and waiting for Us that We really can't even fathom right now.
Many are speaking of not being able to put "their" now into words. Is it any wonder? Our now is brand new, there aren't words for much of what We are experiencing and no frame of reference. We are like the native Americans looking at Columbus's ships and not seeing anything. That is exactly what many of Us are walking in right NOW. We sense these ships, Our light bodies, Our energy but We can't see a blessed thing yet.
Dreams #67 Written 6/22/09
I just woke from a dream that may relate to what is going on in 3D and multi-D.
Some of My local friends, some complete strangers and I were playing video games, only these were real-life and on a massive scale. We were in some type of building, probably a house with many rooms. Most of Us had Our little hand held game controllers and Our screens and monitors and We were scattered throughout the house playing Our war games.
The thing is that these were real wars, Our game controllers fired real weapons, maneuvred real vehicles and We knew We were killing real people and "they" were trying to kill Us.
This was war by remote control. We were (or at least felt) safe because the battles were far from Our house. This was a massive war, to say it was a world war would be to belittle it. And, I might add, We seemed to be pretty good at it.
I was a type of leader, only the players didn't need a leader, each was playing on "their" own and doing very well. Doing well meant staying alive.
I was moving/floating from room to room encouraging and coaxing the players on. "Yes, yes, keep going, go deeper into enemy territory......" At times I had My own controller and would reek havoc and destruction of My own.
I was ruthless, I was mean and I was very cruel. Those who took no prisoners were more merciful than I.
There were also several versions of this going on. If I backed off, took the focus back, I could see MySelf and others watching All this on Our monitors. We were watching OurSelves and others playing these real-life video games on Our monitors.
On different monitors there were different versions/aspects of Me playing different parts. But, the One I focused on was this ruthless war lord.
I was fascinated for this is a Me I Am totally unfamiliar with. Certainly I have caught glimpses of him in My passed, but I have never known him, I have never experienced him. Yet, here he was bigger than life.
In recent years I have grown more aware of My existence as this cruel man, but still it has been knowledge that he exists, but not experience, not real awareness.
I was saying and believing that this war was provoked, That was My excuse, My justification but some/many of Me that were watching this on Our monitors knew that this just was NOT true. I (and My friends) was the aggressor. We were attacking unprovoked but saying it was necessary to protect OurSelves.
Here We were in Our safe house, miles and miles from the battles, maybe even light years from these scenes of devastation and destruction yet feeling justified because We were protecting OurSelves.
So, a Me that was watching recognized the need to integrate this monster Me that was enjoying maiming and killing these others. As I started the process, it frightened Me. Not because I was afraid of having this monster inside Me, for I knew he was All-ready part of Me. I was scared about ending this thread of the tapestry of eternity/infinity.
I felt that this was amazing. Fear of ending infinity/eternity by ending war????? Is that All there is to make up infinity? War and destruction? I found I was actually afraid that if We All gave up violence, there would be no variety, no beauty, no anything.
What about love? It felt like if I integrated the hate, even love would vanish because "they" are each other's balance.
Then it occurred to Me. There is more. There is more than this balancing act of love and hate, peace and war. There are realities yet unimagined. There are things, possibilities that We simply can not fathom, not even an inkling.
At that point I invited this monster Me to join Me, to come and sit at My round table, My council fire, My campfire, the banquet/buffet table of life.
Well, let Me tell You, he was still a raging monster. Even without any weapons or game controller he was still vehement and attacking. His words, sharper than any sword, faster than any bullet cut through Our armour and Our shields like "they" were butter. He pierced Our hearts. He chopped off Our heads and fed Us to the daylight.
What was this All about? Why was he raging at ME???? At himSelf?
It was about separation. He felt/believed that We had forced him into being separate.
Now, he became familiar, now I recognized every nook and cranny in his mind, and the wrinkles in his face. This was truly Me. For it has not been that long ago that I battled this monster, this belief that I was forced to be separate.
I thought I had accepted that I had chosen to pretend to be separate, that I knew that I had chosen to forget Oneness (being connected) in order to fully experience separation and limitation. It seems that I had only banished this belief that I was forced into separation. I had banished MySelf. Hidden behind My smile, hidden behind My cloak of love and care I was kicking and screaming. This banished Me has been waging war All My life and he is definitely cruel and ruthless.
The bright side of All this is that there is/are a part(s) of infinity beyond duality and polarity. It is something I truly can not yet imagine. But, I caught a glimpse. WE did not vanish into nothing, We did not cease to exist. When We balance and mix and integrate love and hate and fear and anger and greed and separation and unity, something is born.
Some of My local friends, some complete strangers and I were playing video games, only these were real-life and on a massive scale. We were in some type of building, probably a house with many rooms. Most of Us had Our little hand held game controllers and Our screens and monitors and We were scattered throughout the house playing Our war games.
The thing is that these were real wars, Our game controllers fired real weapons, maneuvred real vehicles and We knew We were killing real people and "they" were trying to kill Us.
This was war by remote control. We were (or at least felt) safe because the battles were far from Our house. This was a massive war, to say it was a world war would be to belittle it. And, I might add, We seemed to be pretty good at it.
I was a type of leader, only the players didn't need a leader, each was playing on "their" own and doing very well. Doing well meant staying alive.
I was moving/floating from room to room encouraging and coaxing the players on. "Yes, yes, keep going, go deeper into enemy territory......" At times I had My own controller and would reek havoc and destruction of My own.
I was ruthless, I was mean and I was very cruel. Those who took no prisoners were more merciful than I.
There were also several versions of this going on. If I backed off, took the focus back, I could see MySelf and others watching All this on Our monitors. We were watching OurSelves and others playing these real-life video games on Our monitors.
On different monitors there were different versions/aspects of Me playing different parts. But, the One I focused on was this ruthless war lord.
I was fascinated for this is a Me I Am totally unfamiliar with. Certainly I have caught glimpses of him in My passed, but I have never known him, I have never experienced him. Yet, here he was bigger than life.
In recent years I have grown more aware of My existence as this cruel man, but still it has been knowledge that he exists, but not experience, not real awareness.
I was saying and believing that this war was provoked, That was My excuse, My justification but some/many of Me that were watching this on Our monitors knew that this just was NOT true. I (and My friends) was the aggressor. We were attacking unprovoked but saying it was necessary to protect OurSelves.
Here We were in Our safe house, miles and miles from the battles, maybe even light years from these scenes of devastation and destruction yet feeling justified because We were protecting OurSelves.
So, a Me that was watching recognized the need to integrate this monster Me that was enjoying maiming and killing these others. As I started the process, it frightened Me. Not because I was afraid of having this monster inside Me, for I knew he was All-ready part of Me. I was scared about ending this thread of the tapestry of eternity/infinity.
I felt that this was amazing. Fear of ending infinity/eternity by ending war????? Is that All there is to make up infinity? War and destruction? I found I was actually afraid that if We All gave up violence, there would be no variety, no beauty, no anything.
What about love? It felt like if I integrated the hate, even love would vanish because "they" are each other's balance.
Then it occurred to Me. There is more. There is more than this balancing act of love and hate, peace and war. There are realities yet unimagined. There are things, possibilities that We simply can not fathom, not even an inkling.
At that point I invited this monster Me to join Me, to come and sit at My round table, My council fire, My campfire, the banquet/buffet table of life.
Well, let Me tell You, he was still a raging monster. Even without any weapons or game controller he was still vehement and attacking. His words, sharper than any sword, faster than any bullet cut through Our armour and Our shields like "they" were butter. He pierced Our hearts. He chopped off Our heads and fed Us to the daylight.
What was this All about? Why was he raging at ME???? At himSelf?
It was about separation. He felt/believed that We had forced him into being separate.
Now, he became familiar, now I recognized every nook and cranny in his mind, and the wrinkles in his face. This was truly Me. For it has not been that long ago that I battled this monster, this belief that I was forced to be separate.
I thought I had accepted that I had chosen to pretend to be separate, that I knew that I had chosen to forget Oneness (being connected) in order to fully experience separation and limitation. It seems that I had only banished this belief that I was forced into separation. I had banished MySelf. Hidden behind My smile, hidden behind My cloak of love and care I was kicking and screaming. This banished Me has been waging war All My life and he is definitely cruel and ruthless.
The bright side of All this is that there is/are a part(s) of infinity beyond duality and polarity. It is something I truly can not yet imagine. But, I caught a glimpse. WE did not vanish into nothing, We did not cease to exist. When We balance and mix and integrate love and hate and fear and anger and greed and separation and unity, something is born.
Thoughts written 6/17/09
I have heard/read from several sources that this coming solstice is about moving forward. My first reaction is wondering why, if this is such a pivotal time of moving forward, then why is it this summer I Am more interested in and participating more in physical (3D) activities than I have been the last couple of years?
Then, the word BALANCE appears (and of course I run screaming from the room). When I garner the courage to return and read on, there is usually something about moving through and/or beyond polarity (fancy words to help Us bravely face balance????)
This is what I see happening for Me. I Am living and participating in My spiritual life and My physical life. I Am walking in multi-D and functioning in 3D. This is not All-ways an easy feat, as many can attest.
I haven't been remembering much from My dreams lately either. Little tidbits, sometimes answers to 3D questions, sometimes insights that save Me time and trouble, sometimes worries that have little or no basis in reality, and sometime love flowing between All the Me and My others.
I've had some thoughts about this too. Some of the dreams that were remarkable a year ago are now common place. Some are still too different for My conscious mind to grasp and translate. And, there are times when I really resist coming back to 3D, staying out there (in here) and this resist-dance may block some memories.
Then, the word BALANCE appears (and of course I run screaming from the room). When I garner the courage to return and read on, there is usually something about moving through and/or beyond polarity (fancy words to help Us bravely face balance????)
This is what I see happening for Me. I Am living and participating in My spiritual life and My physical life. I Am walking in multi-D and functioning in 3D. This is not All-ways an easy feat, as many can attest.
I haven't been remembering much from My dreams lately either. Little tidbits, sometimes answers to 3D questions, sometimes insights that save Me time and trouble, sometimes worries that have little or no basis in reality, and sometime love flowing between All the Me and My others.
I've had some thoughts about this too. Some of the dreams that were remarkable a year ago are now common place. Some are still too different for My conscious mind to grasp and translate. And, there are times when I really resist coming back to 3D, staying out there (in here) and this resist-dance may block some memories.
Thoughts written 6/16/09
You know, I watched Children of Dune several times before I got anything out of it. Recently the dream/vision conversations between Paul and Leto (son) about the Golden Path are starting to make sense and I Am reminded of that a lot lately.
The going forward and back, the shattering/fragmenting and coming back together is certainly going on and on and on. It's cyclical, possibly like a dog chasing its tail.
We wanted to find out what it would be like to be less than what We are. We were everything and We became something. We wanted to examine and experience the parts that make up the whole. Some of Us do it by being a single individual and some do it by being several individuals. Being a multiple person has been judged as something that needed curing for a long time by those who are dead set in being only a single individual. Just like the recent attention to autism and the growing number of cases, and the cases of multiples is growing also.
Some postulate that We could not have experiences without separating/fragmenting. I'm not sure about that, but I Am convinced that We decided to experience it this way. I think the only way to fully experience it is to fully believe it. And We have done that pretty damn well.
Now We are experiencing it from the perspective of having an inkling that We are more while We still believe We are less. I think this will expand.
I (and probably We) get confused during the shifting from One to many and back. (Vertigo)
Usually (the norm) when We are exploring being a part, We forget that We are also the whole. But We retain this niggling memory of being whole and it often eats at Our heart, Our emotions. But, in order to focus, to fully experience, it seems important to forget (filter out) the more.
I would guess that there is a kaleidoscope of variances on this. Some where We have a little knowledge (consciousness) of being whole, and others where We barely remember being parts (and parts is parts). Some of Us move through this kaleidoscope with ease, others feel every phase intensely.
In an instant We remember and again in an instant We forget.
There are many references to All this from the Reconnections. That is what drew Me to "them". The Reconnections spoke/speak what I believe. Just yesterday I was reading an article by another channel which said:"You are more than You seem to be." Sound familiar?
The going forward and back, the shattering/fragmenting and coming back together is certainly going on and on and on. It's cyclical, possibly like a dog chasing its tail.
We wanted to find out what it would be like to be less than what We are. We were everything and We became something. We wanted to examine and experience the parts that make up the whole. Some of Us do it by being a single individual and some do it by being several individuals. Being a multiple person has been judged as something that needed curing for a long time by those who are dead set in being only a single individual. Just like the recent attention to autism and the growing number of cases, and the cases of multiples is growing also.
Some postulate that We could not have experiences without separating/fragmenting. I'm not sure about that, but I Am convinced that We decided to experience it this way. I think the only way to fully experience it is to fully believe it. And We have done that pretty damn well.
Now We are experiencing it from the perspective of having an inkling that We are more while We still believe We are less. I think this will expand.
I (and probably We) get confused during the shifting from One to many and back. (Vertigo)
Usually (the norm) when We are exploring being a part, We forget that We are also the whole. But We retain this niggling memory of being whole and it often eats at Our heart, Our emotions. But, in order to focus, to fully experience, it seems important to forget (filter out) the more.
I would guess that there is a kaleidoscope of variances on this. Some where We have a little knowledge (consciousness) of being whole, and others where We barely remember being parts (and parts is parts). Some of Us move through this kaleidoscope with ease, others feel every phase intensely.
In an instant We remember and again in an instant We forget.
There are many references to All this from the Reconnections. That is what drew Me to "them". The Reconnections spoke/speak what I believe. Just yesterday I was reading an article by another channel which said:"You are more than You seem to be." Sound familiar?
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