Dreams #67 Written 6/22/09

I just woke from a dream that may relate to what is going on in 3D and multi-D.
Some of My local friends, some complete strangers and I were playing video games, only these were real-life and on a massive scale. We were in some type of building, probably a house with many rooms. Most of Us had Our little hand held game controllers and Our screens and monitors and We were scattered throughout the house playing Our war games.
The thing is that these were real wars, Our game controllers fired real weapons, maneuvred real vehicles and We knew We were killing real people and "they" were trying to kill Us.
This was war by remote control. We were (or at least felt) safe because the battles were far from Our house. This was a massive war, to say it was a world war would be to belittle it. And, I might add, We seemed to be pretty good at it.
I was a type of leader, only the players didn't need a leader, each was playing on "their" own and doing very well. Doing well meant staying alive.
I was moving/floating from room to room encouraging and coaxing the players on. "Yes, yes, keep going, go deeper into enemy territory......" At times I had My own controller and would reek havoc and destruction of My own.
I was ruthless, I was mean and I was very cruel. Those who took no prisoners were more merciful than I.
There were also several versions of this going on. If I backed off, took the focus back, I could see MySelf and others watching All this on Our monitors. We were watching OurSelves and others playing these real-life video games on Our monitors.
On different monitors there were different versions/aspects of Me playing different parts. But, the One I focused on was this ruthless war lord.
I was fascinated for this is a Me I Am totally unfamiliar with. Certainly I have caught glimpses of him in My passed, but I have never known him, I have never experienced him. Yet, here he was bigger than life.
In recent years I have grown more aware of My existence as this cruel man, but still it has been knowledge that he exists, but not experience, not real awareness.
I was saying and believing that this war was provoked, That was My excuse, My justification but some/many of Me that were watching this on Our monitors knew that this just was NOT true. I (and My friends) was the aggressor. We were attacking unprovoked but saying it was necessary to protect OurSelves.
Here We were in Our safe house, miles and miles from the battles, maybe even light years from these scenes of devastation and destruction yet feeling justified because We were protecting OurSelves.
So, a Me that was watching recognized the need to integrate this monster Me that was enjoying maiming and killing these others. As I started the process, it frightened Me. Not because I was afraid of having this monster inside Me, for I knew he was All-ready part of Me. I was scared about ending this thread of the tapestry of eternity/infinity.
I felt that this was amazing. Fear of ending infinity/eternity by ending war????? Is that All there is to make up infinity? War and destruction? I found I was actually afraid that if We All gave up violence, there would be no variety, no beauty, no anything.
What about love? It felt like if I integrated the hate, even love would vanish because "they" are each other's balance.
Then it occurred to Me. There is more. There is more than this balancing act of love and hate, peace and war. There are realities yet unimagined. There are things, possibilities that We simply can not fathom, not even an inkling.
At that point I invited this monster Me to join Me, to come and sit at My round table, My council fire, My campfire, the banquet/buffet table of life.
Well, let Me tell You, he was still a raging monster. Even without any weapons or game controller he was still vehement and attacking. His words, sharper than any sword, faster than any bullet cut through Our armour and Our shields like "they" were butter. He pierced Our hearts. He chopped off Our heads and fed Us to the daylight.
What was this All about? Why was he raging at ME???? At himSelf?
It was about separation. He felt/believed that We had forced him into being separate.
Now, he became familiar, now I recognized every nook and cranny in his mind, and the wrinkles in his face. This was truly Me. For it has not been that long ago that I battled this monster, this belief that I was forced to be separate.
I thought I had accepted that I had chosen to pretend to be separate, that I knew that I had chosen to forget Oneness (being connected) in order to fully experience separation and limitation. It seems that I had only banished this belief that I was forced into separation. I had banished MySelf. Hidden behind My smile, hidden behind My cloak of love and care I was kicking and screaming. This banished Me has been waging war All My life and he is definitely cruel and ruthless.
The bright side of All this is that there is/are a part(s) of infinity beyond duality and polarity. It is something I truly can not yet imagine. But, I caught a glimpse. WE did not vanish into nothing, We did not cease to exist. When We balance and mix and integrate love and hate and fear and anger and greed and separation and unity, something is born.