What If? #9 Healers

If you travel far and wide, and follow your thoughts to a time before time, what will you find? There are many wonders in your mind. There are sights to behold, lives yet untold. There are versions unseen, and motives unclean. All belong to One, and One belongs to All.
Somewhere out "there" at the juncture of some auroras, the spot where a thousand rainbows merge, at a time where opposing thoughts intersect you can find a reality where all beings are enlightened healers. Sit back and relax, breathe deep and relax. Fasten your seatbelts the rockets are about to blast off!
These enlightened healers see "things" from a different perspective than some of "Us" are familiar with. Sew, knit, breathe and relax. Open your mind and see if you can remember tomorrow. Look into this reality with your open mind and tell me if it is true.
The first question these healers will ask is "how does this serve you?"
Immediately about fifty percent of their followers drift off. "They" go to find other realities more willing to care and help. The feeling is generally "how can healers be so uncaring?" "How on Pluto (or whatever term/planet works) can anyone believe this ‘serves’ me?" "Are ‘they’ implying I have done this to myself?"
Once upon a time a pregnant planet visited these healers complaining of G.A.S. The healers quickly gathered around this poor overdue behemoth. "How does this serve you?"
"I wish I knew!"
"Have you tried meditating?"
"Oh yes, first thing, last thing and All thoughts in between."
"Have you tried farting?"
"Certainly. I started with tender, frequent farts. This seemed to help at first, but in time the farts grew into great swells and giant upheavals."
"Perhaps you are having contractions?"
"But what if my baby’s not ready?"
"My dear, your baby has been ready for quite some time!"
"Are you All certain?"
"Quite certain."
"All the other healers I visited gave me sedatives. ‘They’ said my baby wasn’t ready."
"There is a difference between scared and not ready."
Another once upon a time a young being visited this reality complaining of being dead.
"How does this serve You?"
"How in the name of All that is holy can You ask that?"
"We can ask just the way we did. Perhaps You answered YourSelf. Yes All is holy and no name is truly above, holier or more enlightened than any other."
"I thought You called YourSelves ‘enlightened’"
"Actually it is the author who called Us that."
"Okay, how does this serve Me?"
"We asked first."
"What?"
"Just playing with You. Can’t You take a joke?"
"I’m dead!"
"Quite right."
"At least You can see that!"
"Perhaps You would like to whine and snivel out Your story."
"I was warned that You are rude."
"We prefer the term ‘direct’."
"I started getting symptoms, I visited other healers. I continued to get worse, sometimes I’d go into remission always to slip further into worse ailments."
"Sounds like quite a process You put YourSelf through."
"How can You say that? Why would I do this?"
"It is really quite easy to say, much easier than making excuses for You or making up lies to explain away what You know to be true. We can not be certain why You did this. We can suggest some possibilities."
"Like what?"
"Perhaps You saw a gift You wanted to explore, but as You entered this unfamiliar territory You might have panicked. Have You ever had whiplash? Maybe as You walked the path You had chosen before birth You started to resist, tried to change games and rules but You never told YourSelf that You were changing the rules. This can cause confusion and some other very unpleasant symptons."
"Well, whatever! Eventually the other healers failed and I died."
"Why do You say ‘they’ failed?"
"Duh! Because I died You idiots!"
"Are You saying that death is failure? If You believe that how ever did You find Us?"
"Of course death isn’t always failure, but, but My death was those healers’ failure."
"Why do You say that?"
"Because I didn’t want to die."
"You didn’t? Man are We ever sorry. We were certain You were ready to ascend. We really thought We heard You crying out for enlightenment. We could have sworn We heard You pray for deliverance. We thought You told others You were wise and ready to transcend. We are so very, very sorry. We even thought You believed in magik."