What If? #1 Dishes

If You go 3 uni-verses to the right and down 3 flights of stars (I don't think the elevator stops there, I Highly recommend using the stars) U can find a reality where the dishes are the sentient beings and people are just ornaments used mainly for decorating chairs and sofas. Some dishes use people to decorate their cars, but this practice hasn't really caught on 'cause only the cheap plastic dishes have cars sitting in their yards needing to be decorated.Of course some of the most elegant houses have people decorating the mantles over their fireplaces, but this is also rather rare as the cost of fireproofing people is quite extravagant! (Not to mention the size of mantel needed to hold 1 or more peoples). So, the dishes in this reality must feed and bathe their people or hire servant dishes to perform these lowly tasks, or let their people gather dust and starve, but there are probably laws regulating such behaviour. And, just think of the chore of rearranging the people like we do our furniture???? What we call a florist is called a peist: one who makes and sells people arrangements. Imagine the thanksgiving centerpiece!
In the grand oak tree in the town square lives a wizard plate who has taught his people to feed and bathe themselves. I know it sounds ridiculous, but some of us believe Merlyn did this with his dishes. Well anyway, it is quite a sight to see the wizard plate's people picking up food with their own hands and actually putting it in their mouths! Watching them bathe is soooo funny, u had best wear something waterproof, they splash and laugh and make such a mess!
Across town lives Miss Teapot, she is sooo old that she has to be pushed around on a teacart. Miss Teapot used to be able to levitate herself around quite nicely and is rather depressed now that she is confined to her teacart. Her little lid is chipped from the last time she tried pouring her tea into her daughter Teacup! Alas, she doesn't believe the chip will ever heal! Johnny Saucer says he thinks the wizard plate might have some super-glue that would do the Trick, but Miss Teapot just can't bring herself to believe in magik!
(to be cont. or NOT) it is a little frightening having a mind that writes stuff like this!
TTFN