What If? #5 Snow

Sorry folks, I just couldn’t let this opportunity pass by.
If You go to Angel’s place, then slip over a couple of You-niverses, then slide up (or is it down?) a couple of flights of stars You can find a reality where the entire city gets in their cars. Yuppers, the people, the buildings, roads, streetlights, the whole city gets into cars and races up onto the moor.
I’m guessing that this means the entire city is sentient, and knows how to race
their cars. Just think about driver education classes, the instructor says "you the tall building in yellow, you’re gonna be the first in the driver’s seat. And don’t crowd me this time! I gotta be able to reach my brake, so keep your antennas on your side."
The older street signs probably have restrictions on their driver’s licenses like "no yielding". I wonder if "they" have handicapped parking? Do the streets drive the busses? Do the street lights only drive at night? You really gotta check this One out folks, it real-ly is two much. You haven’t lived ‘til You see city hall in a limo’!
Now, as if this isn’t enough, "they" get out and build snowmen. Imagine the bakery dressed in training shoes and puffa jacket. Then imagine it building a snowman.
Or how about the swinging bridge dressed in high-heeled training shoes and spandex, building a snowman? The list goes on and on.
So, here You have all these snowmen standing alongside the road, hitchhiking. How in the world does a snowman stick out its thumb? Are the passers by so used to hitchhiking snowmen that "they" don’t need to stick out their thumb? I’ll bet it is like the 100th monkey thing, the first 99 had to stick out their thumb, after that the rides just started happening.
Do "they" melt in Your seat and not in Your hand? Does a snowman have to wear a seatbelt?
What kind of snowman would a parking meter build? Which type of car does a speed bump race? How many fountains does a city bus hold? Do houses look out their windows and steer with their doors? How does a stop sign get anywhere? Do sidewalks ride on flatbeds?
All the questions You have been asking All these years are answered right here!
Step right up (whatever) and board Your local aurora. Next stop the city that drives, no make that races! "Vrooom, vroooom" the park benches squeal! "I’ll get there first" the ambulance blares.
Think of the pigeons in this fray. The trashcans race to save the day. All the back alleys having their way. The pubs aren’t serving unless You pay.
The little train engine gets in it’s convertible saying "I think I can, I think I can."
The decrepit factory billowing smoke as it races it’s Porsche with the library’s Renault.
All the while John Law says "if I believed in magik, I could make all these buildings and signs and crows and fixtures stop racing up onto the moor!"
This What If? was made possible by a grant from Angel.
TTFN