Today:
An inordinate fear
and anger
Wizard's Log Star-date: 03:56:03 AM
Good morning. We wake to play another day.
We
did not sleep well because Our sinuses are bothering Us. We are not
sure what this is about except it is old beliefs and setting “them”
free with love and pony hopping. We do not remember much from the
night but Our last visit was a world very similar to this One and We
were saying good bye to All Our students like We will do tomorrow in
waking. In that world the roads are not paved but All dirt.
Even
though We do not feel any real inspiration or insights We are just
calmly drifting in and about in some different realities this
morning. Even with the sinus stuff there is a peace and calm within
and without Us. We are just enjoying this.
The
subject of drama has been coming up in a discussion group and We have
been more aware of All the drama people get caught up in at work.
This morning We are aware of the choice of staying centered in Our
calm and happy place or checking the drama mail from the discussion
group. Now We see why We are avoiding a lot of Our email. Even some
of the good stuff is cloaked in high drama.
Another
great morning with the kids. We were even able to have some
conversation with Our challenge. We will miss “them” All after
summer school is over but We will really enjoy All the dream time. We
are making a lot of progress with Our internal changes and it will be
nice to be able to focus more and dive deeper every day.
The
real progress is made when We can be out in the world and stay
multifocused in multiD and multiworlds but the foundation is laid and
strengthened in the long stretches spent at home by OurSelves. We are
much more focused on Our process and growth (this summer) than on Our
projects AND more than We have ever been before.
It
has been nice to be able to practice allowing OurSelf to drift out
more on work days.
After
work We had another incident that triggered an inordinate and
disproportionate amount of fear and anger. Our reaction was totally
limitation and separation oriented. The good news is that We
recognize it right away. We pony hopped and pony hopped and pony
hopped. It took a few hours to get out of blame and victim mode. We
wanted to react from/with/in love but it just was not happening. We
could feel the fear from Our children within and We tried to comfort
“them” and apologized for causing such fear. We are sorry AND We
ARE angry and We are sorry that We are angry.
A
big part of what We are feeling is because We do NOT believe in
OurSelf. We do not believe that We can change and heal Our others.
We want out of this world. We do not believe that We can turn it
into a world of love. We believe that We will All-ways feel
attacked, anger and hatred. This is a biggy and We are having a hell
of a time setting it free (with or without love). The good news is
that We see it even if We are having a lot of difficulty turning it
around.
Good night AND thank You for playing.
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