More about My process at work 4/4/09

I haven't thought about laziness this way for quite a while ("You were TOLD it was laziness and so claimed that") , because a few years ago I real-ized that what others would view as laziness was a very productive time for Me. This is the time that I spend building the life I truly want, not the life that the "world" tells Me I should build. This is really the whole point of this whole thing about the kid at work. I want something different from what the "world"/masses normally offers Us and expects from Us, yet I cling to these old ideals/ethics like the drowning cling to a raft. The raft is falling apart and sinking, yet I cling while trying to shake free. My hands are beginning to hurt and go numb from All this clinging.
Here I have a guy who (whatever his thoughts/motives/beliefs) is relatively free of this monster I have chained MySelf to. And, for the most part, he is not penalized for this as I believe I would be.
So, My first reaction and judgment based on All My years/lives of social training is that he is lazy. It really does not matter WHAT he (really) is, what matters is My judgment of him and what he represents. He is My mirror, My shadow of a couple of things. My disdain for laziness, My judgment of appearances, My Self who is NOT following the social edict of "follow the rules".
I feel I continue to be mis-understood as I discuss this, and I forget that I do not appear to be this conforming type person, because that persona basically only attacks Me, and overtakes Me at work. Most everyOne on line knows My Dr. Jekyll, I Am trying to talk with "them" about My Mr. Hyde. Of course the benefit of this is that I continue looking at it and trying to describe what is going on and that takes Me deeper and deeper into the "issues".