Busy week here in the lost frontier

Written 4/4/09

Wowsa.
Lots of shadow work at My job and some very interesting revelations as a result of My post Thurs. morning.
The shadow work includes a guy at work who is the right age to be a star kid and represents who I want to be when I grow up. I think I've mentioned him before, and how he frustrates Me and brings up many of My issues. I appreciate him if I can just keep My hands off his throat. As I process My stuff, I Am getting clearerer and clearerer about All the gifts he holds for Me.
Then there is One of My bosses who can get My anger going in 30 seconds or less. I should mention that getting angry is rarer and rarerer for Me, except in this case. She represents the part of ME that holds unreasonable expectations of MySelf, and the part that is still into supporting Our failing system of separation/limitation. I'm sure she is even more than that, but this is plenty to deal with right now.
The ho'oponopono stuff brought up a whole bunch of issues and insights.
On My drive to work Thurs. morning (after writing the post) I was kind of letting My mind wander. Maybe it was visioning, maybe it was thinking but it was different from My normal thinking, perhaps reflecting would be a good description.
I was running a brief version of the ho'oponopono process: "I'm sorry. Forgive Me. I love You. Thank You" I do have some "issues" with some of those words, but I really am trying to get over that, because it feels like old stuff and this feels to be the route I wish to follow.
I was thinking about this process in relation to work and the shadows lurking there. For some time now, whenever I have thought about changing jobs, I have felt that if I stick this out, this job will transform into an Aquarian age job. I've been getting the message that regardless of appearances, this IS happening.
As I was letting All this stuff go galloping through My mind, it dawned on Me that this is exactly what is happening, or will happen if I stay on this course. My job will transform if I begin (or continue) healing work at My job. I've known for years that I Am a healer, but not the usual "physical" healer. So, how and who do I heal at My job?
ME. How simple can it get? By practicing ho'oponopono, by opening to awareness (the only healing necessary according to the Reconnections) at work, I Am transforming My job. Instead of waiting for My employer (an international retail corporation) to change, I can begin doing the work/play (that I have long envisioned) today at My current job. I can change, and when I change, My world changes with Me. I can begin to follow My passion at My job. I can turn this store into a meditation sanctuary by being in a meditative state as much as I Am able. As I practice, My ability grows, the time I can spend in this state grows.
There is a line in A Course in Miracle that has really stuck with Me: "I Am a spiritual retreat." For years I had wanted to own and/or operate a spiritual retreat. When I read that line, I knew I had obtained this dream, if I just believe it.
Killing My shadows, All-though a pleasing thought much of the time, would probably not speed Me towards My intended goal. Another word for healing that I thought of through All of this is integrating. I can heal MySelf, I can integrate My many aspects at My job (while doing My job) as well as in My dreams, and in My sharing All this on these boards.
I Am in the process of transforming. It's awesome and it is frustrating.
Welcome to the lost frontier.