And here I thought I skipped class
(From night school last night and then this morning)
I had a quiet night last night after staying awake quite a while processing more stuff and envisioning where and what I want to be (and no I DON'T want to grow up, I want it when I grow young) Envisioning is different from visualizing, it allows imagination before seeing. Kinestetics like Me can visualize, it just isn't Our FIRST and primary sense. So, if I imagine first, sometimes I can see but I can All-ways envision especially as I Am getting to be more open to being a visionary.
This processing, assessing and envisioning went on for quite a while and was really a lot of fun and exciting and I opening.
There were several fun dreams of alternate realities and then I woke up about an hour earlier than usual. I definitely felt like I was ready to get up but yet had this definite sense that My night school and dreaming were not over.
The following is actually an email that I wrote and through which I got it what night school IS about today:
Anyway, first thing I decided to check out Kryon (Lee Carrol) and see if there were any new audios since I was last there. And guess what I found? A CRUISE
You probably know what feelings came up.
Then I had the thought: "I will be able to do this soon". And that thought really resonates and feels accurate. I have been feeling/sensing that I will soon discover My financial wealth. I feel it even stronger now. And You know what? It doesn't help a bit.
And as I started writing about this those old feelings came up again just as strong. Now please understand, I really like this guy's channelings, he makes his stuff available freely, very freely on the Internet and I really appreciate that and respect him for this. But those same feelings and anger came raging to the surface.
I Am seeing these situations differently now days. I see the rich differently (not as monsters) but there is still that thing about knowledge and privilege being only for the rich and that goes back sooooo far. Again, I see it a little differently now, I see the good in it, BUT........................
This connects to women being considered second class people for sooooo long (and even still in some cultures) and things like the mass being said in Latin so that the common people could NOT understand what was being said but had to blindly accept it. Women not being allowed into the priesthood and people taking cruises while other people starve. It also relates to how I feel about those other versions of MySelf in alternate realities where I remain stuck in limitation and/or poverty (physical and spiritual). It's about the waste and injustices that have gone on for eons and still go on.
It is All the same and I have VERY deep feelings about it. "There is much anger in him".
"Anger leads to the dark side".
"I Am the One who brings balance to the force".
I started to just glaze these feelings over and stuff "them" ONE MORE TIME.
Then, I remembered that I had read (and continue reading) about the need to really "FEEL" these old feelings when "they" come up in order to really be free of "them". In fact this “feeling” the old came out in the web-cast I listened to just before going to bed last night. So, I felt "them" (a little).
Then (as I All-ready said) I started this email and the feelings came up actually even stronger. Like a child screaming for attention or an infected wound being opened to "re-lease" the infection. Exactly the way I know anything that is hidden and buried will eventually do.
I decided to really get into the feelings and write this out as long as it needs to be in order to really process. I even had to do some housework to get through the feelings and I do NOT do housework.
(WOW, I just did some kind of time warp and totally lost track of where and when I Am)
Okay, I think I found Me.
Now, I think I can re-do what I thought I had All-ready done. I accept and own these feelings, "they" are definitely Me and Mine. I can honor these feelings (this is brand new for Me around My old feelings) there is nothing right or wrong about My feelings, "they" are just MY feelings. I can love "them". I can set "them" free. I can send "them" love. I can set these feelings free with love. I can gently cut the cord(s) that bind(s) Us together and keep(s) Us encumbered and enslaved and entangled and locked in a prison of festering fear and anger together (“forever”? “'til death do Us part”?) I imagine a hot air balloon (originally it was normal size but now it is the size of the Goodyear blimp) floating away freely in search of adventure. I may not be totally free of these feelings, I feel there is still some deeper stuff to be faced and owned but I certainly feel about ten tons lighter.
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