Yesterday, not long before bed I got a new suggestion (new for Me) to look at how You/I feel about a situation and feel that, really feel it and deal with it to heal and stop going through the same situation over and over (going round the mountain One more time). Before I went to bed I took a look and couldn't find anything for a while. I was told this would probably happen at first because in Our society We are taught (and are familiar with) NOT feeling Our feelings. So, I kept at it.
After a little time I found My old familiar friend “fear”. I was scared about the future, specifically My future, fear of failure, fear of success. And that is how I felt inside. For those who don't know, when I moved here I real-eyesed that the move was about facing My fears and it has been that since I first got on the road to drive here. It has not stopped but the fear is much less intense than it was at first.
I spent some time with feeling My fear before bed and in dream and night school I processed some more. I thought about how fear, facing My fear has been a major part of My life but I never totally allow MySelf to feel My fear. I feel a lot, I Am kinesthetic but not My fear. Since this is a life theme, I decided to look at My other life theme and sure enough I felt out of balance. I just let MySelf feel both these feelings a while.
Then We went into recess and dreams of alternate realities. That was interesting but not (not obviously anyway) part of night school.
Belief has been a major theme for Me (You may have noticed) and for All-most All the folks I've listened to and read lately. Lots of people are getting it that Our beliefs are at the root of Our ills. Our beliefs need to change in order for Our daily lives and Our world to change. The thing is that I hear a lot of “destroy that belief” or “uncreate that belief” or “send it away (or into the light)”. I'm sure that works well for many, many people. I'm NOT into any of that stuff. It has never felt right for Me and it has never worked for Me. What does work for Me is admitting, accepting, owning, honoring and sending love to My old belief and then adding/planting a new/alternate belief.
I know that not everyOne is into this alternate stuff as much as I Am, but I also know that more and more are opening to it. It is part of infinity and part of ALL that is. Not everyOne really wants that and I honor “their” choice, it just doesn't work for Me.
I looked at All this and processed it during class. My angel aspects and re-united Ones were there with Me, assisting and making it more play-full.
Then money came up. This too has been a major theme of what I Am hearing and reading and is up for Me and just about everyOne. The belief issues are related. The old beliefs are about more than money, but beliefs about money definitely need a lot of work.
Most of Us (definitely including Me) believe We are unworthy, unable, undesirable and will never have much money. We believe very strongly in lack and poverty. Even though in most areas I know I Am NOT a victim, this One I too feel victim of those in power. I'm working on it and it is changing but that is very recent.
The other thing is (and this is where night school really comes in strong for Me) that We are building a new world, a new reality, a new paradigm. Money, the economy, Our beliefs and Our way of thinking, acting, behaving and living are gonna be a part of that. There will be many, many varieties and variations and versions and choices of new earth. Some will co-exist and others (the Ones with greater differences) will be further removed. I want to be aware of All the variations, probably visit most if not All but the One (or twelve) I want to live in is an economy based on giving.
This is how I want to live. I also want (and envision MySelf ) to live free of need. Both of these ideals totally fly in the face of logic and even known probability or possibilities. However, I believe it is possible, probable and going to be an option. This does create a bit of contradiction in My here and now because I still live in a world of need and money is One of those needs.
It is not surprising that with these goals/ideals for My future I might have some fear and feel the imbalance. But, I have NOT let MySelf feel these. I have acknowledged “them” and faced “them” but NOT felt “them”. It's gonna take everything, every tool available to create this much change. It won't take work, it will take attention and awareness.
I spent time being aware of All this and feeling My feelings.
However, most of Us will see the old/current system struggling to survive and retain control. This shows up in All areas, the mundane and even new age and metaphysical teachings. Some just don't want to (can't imagine) making the drastic changes that I speak of and envision. I honor and bless those people. It is “their” choice. It takes ALL of it to make infinity.
I see My need to change My beliefs and feel My feelings about money, AND I want to live free of need and be willing and able to freely give and receive. I do believe that is where My new world is headed.
Once again I Am reminded that I Am the embodiment of Love. The rest will follow.
No comments:
Post a Comment