Facing more fear

02/19/14

Today:

Facing more fear

Wizard's Log Star-date: 03:05:04 AM

Good morning. Lots more memories coming up to be loved and set free. Memories that We really thought were long gone. Parts of Our childhood that We have not remembered for years are coming to the surface to be loved and set free. Some memories are pleasant and some are painful but “they” are All memories that need to be set free with love.

We woke several times during the night and were saying: “I love You” and pony hopping each time. We woke about an hour early and lay in bed pony hopping. We feel a lot of change happening within that is and will be reflected in/on Our outer world. We love You. We continue to voice Our feelings that We miss Shadow. We feel his presence but We miss his physical presence. We grieve and that is a good thing.

The question comes up as to what Our ability, Our gift is. The answer is love. Feeling Our feelings, feeling and expressing love is a strength and NOT a weakness as We have taught and been taught. We really did a number on OurSelf and Our world. We completely bought into separation and limitation and now We are afraid to leave. The fear is not as strong as it was yesterday when We recognized it. Yesterday it was shear terror and today it is more like caution. We are okay with being cautious. We go gently as All-ways.

The changes are happening, We feel it. The words fall short but the feeling is very strong. We also are setting Our specific expectations free in love. We can expect great things and loving change but if We try to define it and create/allow specific expectations about how it will be then We limit it completely. We choose to set it free in love and allow love to flow and play freely, without restrictions. We are removing the bonds and restrictions We had placed upon OurSelf and Our world.

We ARE free. Thank You.

It is definitely feeling like We are waking Our natural abilities. We have been afraid, very afraid of living as Our true Self, in and from Our true nature.

As a bit of an aside: somehow Our laptop disabled its wireless connector and now Our desktop is making funny symbols in the task bar????? We asked Our laptop to fix itSelf and after a few tries it did but We are clueless what the blinking symbols on Our desktop are about. It seems that it is connected to Our virus protection. We are going to restart Our desktop. We theel that Our changing energy (internal especially and also external) was/is causing these computer problems and “they” All seem to be resolved now. This is probably connected to leaving the security of Our limitation 3D world.

It is bound to be an interesting journey. We are doing a lot of adapting and experimenting. Who knows where this will lead? Adventure awaits.

Interesting: We have been theeling (during the night and this morning) that time is One of the changes We are choosing to embrace and the Mayan Majix sun sign for today is serpent which represents movement and the creation of time. Also, yesterday's reading in Our Miracle Mastery course spoke about creating time. It did feel like last night's process was mainly about opening and allowing these abilities that the course and other input is reminding Us about.

Our day is so full with Our route due to the recent additions that We rarely have time to type during the day. We could type while We wait at school for the next pickup but that is Our dream time during the day. Sometimes We read or listen to a audio recording and even that feels like an intrusion sometimes. We know that We know when We need to read or listen to a recording and when We need to dream. We are following Our inner guidance system and We are getting better at that. This is and will be the corner stone of change and Our future.

We sense several of the physical changes that will be happening soon. It theels like We will be traveling and We really do NOT know how We feel about that. We know that if it is right for Us We will be fine with it. We still would like to remember how to take Our cabin with Us but We also would have liked to take Shadow with Us in similar fashion. We also feel strongly that Shadow is helping from the other side of the veil and able to do more for Us than when he was in a physical body.

Good night AND thank You for playing.

Another day of dreaming and pony hopping

02/18/14

Today:

Another day of dreaming and pony hopping

Wizard's Log Star-date: 07:52:25 AM

Good morning. Another interesting night of memories and alternate lives coming up to be loved and set free in love. We woke feeling rebellious. Our rebel has been around most of Our life but We keep him under wraps and guarded. He wants to be set free too. We are afraid to do that. We give him some room to express himSelf but We fear what might happen if We just set him free. Perhaps We will come to some mutually agreeable middle ground?

We thought We were going to go to town this morning but that is not appealing to Us. We want to dream again and again. We will probably opt for dreaming and maybe that will satisfy Our rebel. We feel big change happening in Our life and this is part of it.

We are doing a lot of pony hopping again today and returning to dream.

When We woke from another dream session We recognized that We are afraid of leaving Our limitation and separation world/cage. We decided to watch this weeks hypnosis lesson video and it is teaching Us about releasing such fears AND the memories that cause “them” AND replacing those memories with new positive memories and thoughts. Another thing that is interesting is that We went to see if We have been archiving the emails each week but We thought We had been deleting “them”. It turns out We have been archiving “them”. This is One of several things that We are doing without being consciously aware of it. We also decided to tap on this fear. We think We will want to watch the hypnosis video again later.

We are afraid of leaving this familiar world no matter how much We want to experience more. We are pony hopping and tapping on this fear.

We are doing a lot of nurturing of Our subconscious, Our child within. We are setting a lot of pain and memories free in love.

Good night AND thank You for playing.

And dream some more

02/17/14

Today:

And dream some more

Wizard's Log Star-date: 05:26:59 AM

Good morning. We woke pony hopping and We like that. We did a lot of pony hopping during the night as We visited many memories and alternate lives to be loved and set free. We spent a lot of time (or so it seemed) in an alternate life in India. We really enjoy this/that life. In that life We give OurSelf a lot more permission to actually be OurSelf. We theel this deserves some looking into. We know that We need to set this memory (alternate life) free with love just like everything else but We really want to play in it some more. Well, We can do both. That is the part that We have yet to fully grasp about All of this. We CAN have Our cake and eat it too. That is the magik. That is the truth.

Freedom, that is what this is All about and We really do not know what that is. We have never really experienced freedom. We only know Our Self made prison of: “You have to give up One thing to have another”. Freedom will take some getting used to and getting there will take a lot of setting things free.

We got up to go to an in-service meeting for work but We are seriously considering being bad and NOT going. That will probably be Our choice and part of the change We are going through. That is One of the permissions We need to give OurSelf: it is okay to be bad. We really have been inhibiting Our nature a lot with these judgments of what is good and what is bad. So, We choose to stay home today. We will do whatever comes to mind and keep setting OurSelf free in love. Everytime We set a memory or judgment or limiting belief free with love We set OurSelf free a little bit more. We get closer to living as love in the physical.

We have been feeling a lot of change coming and happening inside AND in Our 3D, physical life. Now, having decided to stay home today, We sense that We are definitely preparing for some major change in Our physical life.

Good night AND thank You for playing.

Where did We go?

02/16/14

Today:

Where did We go?

Wizard's Log Star-date: 08:28:24 AM

Good morning. We woke pony hopping and We are focusing on everything being alive AND sentient. This is more of Our change of mindset. We love You. Please forgive Us for ignoring and mistreating You. Thank You. We want to change. We are willing to change. In order to live as what We really are We MUST change and We do so want to live as Our true Self. We want to stop pretending to be what We are not.

What We can not do is accomplish this by thinking and planning. We can feel Our way. We love You. We open to love. We set it All free in love. We allow love.

It is interesting how We are feeling today. Kind of energetic and lethargic at the same time. We do theel that acknowledging everything as being alive and sentient is important right now in order to complete this step and move along. We really can not find any better words for right now.

We are doing some 3D chores and listening to another vid of Dr. Hew Len. We can really feel that We ARE very much in the process. We really appreciate the focus on Our child within (Our subconscious).

It seems that We spent Our day in dream and waking dream. We really do not know where the day went. We feel a lot of change going on within Us and that is what We are after.

Good night AND thank You for playing.

learning to live as love

02/15/14

Today:

learning to live as love

Wizard's Log Star-date: 08:53:28 AM

Good morning. We are pony hopping.

This is Our first weekend without Shadow in All-most sixteen years. The last few days: We have been reflecting on the fact that except for sobriety sixteen years is the longest We have done anything. Also since We are single, Shadow was Our only companion All those years. This is a new beginning. Not exactly the way We have chosen but We did know that it was coming. Yes, We had hoped that Shadow would be here physically to make the shift with Us but as his condition deteriorated We knew that he would move on and help Us from that side of the illusion, the veil.

It is the veil that is the actual illusion.

We love You. We love the game of separation and limitation no matter how painful it is. We love Our child within who keeps clinging to the game. However, it does seem like the grip is weaker. It does help to know that We can return to the game anytime We want. It also helps that now We KNOW that limitation and separation is NOT All there is even if it still does have a death grip on Us (quite literally still).

We continue to be aware of and examine the memory(ies) of living as We truly are: rich and powerful. Scary. And that is why We avoid it still.

For several years We have thelt that We were NOT leaving the game of separation and limitation but rather changing the rules and parameters. We needed/wanted to experience the game thoroughly and completely. The only to do that was to completely in it. We had to absolutely believe that it is real and the ONLY thing that is real. We did good. Now, We have been learning experientially that there is more. There is a multiverse (or many multiverses) and We are just beginning to explore that.

There are realities where wealth and rich and such terms are meaningless because EVERYONE receives the bounty of the multiverse. We have visited at least One of those realities when We visit the two brothers. To Us “they” are the two “rich” brothers but to “them” “they” are just like everyOne else. We like those kinds of realities. But, until We get over Our stuff around money and power We can only visit that type of reality. It is even hard for Us to live in any realities where anyOne is rich because of Our memories (false or imagined) of being rich and powerful.

We decided to watch another vid of Dr. Hew Len and had to pause it to type down something profound that he said: “If I/You/We have a judgment about another person, place or thing then We are judging God.

We have been getting more and more insights into Our learning to live as love, pony hopping and changing Our thinking. These ARE happening in Our life. We are learning to live by allowing and following inspiration. We also recognize several examples of doing this in Our passed. We also recognize and remember the joy We feel in doing this.

It seems like We are drifting again. We like this feeling and expanded awareness AND We recognize how much We have avoided it and rejected it in the passed. Lots of “to do”s are popping into Our head/mind. We set “them” free with love and choose to allow and follow inspiration in each moment to the best of Our ability. We real-eyes that We are well trained in living in limitation and memory and programs. It is normal to place blame but that only keeps Us blocked from living as who We really are.

We ARE the problem AND the solution.

It seems that All Our thoughts and plans have left. We set “them” free in love.

Good night AND thank You for playing.